FUNNY BOWLING STORIES/JOKES .....
If there are any bowlers out there with a funny bowling story or bowling jokes please let me know!
Response Number 1 :Posted by on June 18, 1999 at 17:54:34:
In The Groove
A sunny day in Spring it was when the coach was playing bowls.
He was trying to establish ways of setting players' goals.
Not known for speaking clearly this coach soon found a way
Of showing his new protégé how to prop his bowl this day.
Two bowls were huddled happily…on each others' sides you see..
And coach stood wondering pensively how to get the shot bowl free.
To measure who had final shot was this coach's final goal.
You won't believe just what he used to PROP up that darned bowl!!!
Suddenly he turned around and covered up his face.
(I knew he had done nothing to cause him a disgrace).
With finger clenched towards the green he carefully bent down
And when I saw what he had done my face began to frown.
For lying there beneath the bowl and holding it in place
Were the objects that that coach had taken from his face.
The bowl It stood erect and proud..propped up and n'er would move.
'Cos false teeth white were stuck there just smiling in the groove.
True story from the greens written in poetic form by Jenny Moffat
Response Number 2 :Posted by on November 18, 1999 at 06:59:16:
To Whom It May concern
I'm sitting here in prison as I write this little verse
The judge gave me eighteen months, it could have been much worse
With bowlers on the jury no-one saw my point of view
So I beg you ladies to listen - it could well be one of you!
It started on a Saturday, when much to my displeasure
I had to go and help with pennant afternoon tea & sacrifice my leisure
I got there very punctually, dressed up in bowling gear
Though the purpose of the odd attirehas never been quite clear
My attention was directed to the notice on the wall
With intructions for procedure to be heeded by us all
The orders were so detailed that, in my interpretation
They sounded like the format for a major operation.
To butter bread sounds easy, but I was found mistaken
It's not an exercise that can be lightly undertaken
For different tastes in sandwiches, there must be made provision
Mixed, matched, stacked in containers with mathematical precision
I helped to lay the tables and put the chairs in groups of eight
And in the process managed to drop a dozen plates
We had some nice new tablecloths all made of fancy lace
I tore a ragged hole in one while putting it in place
I cut my little finger on a somewhat jagged tin
And the contents turned a deeper shade with blood and bits of skin
I put a little "Bandaid" on the wound to keep it clean
Which turned up some time later in a tub of margarine
I was told to time the boiled eggs and crack them with a spoon
But they turned out soft and squashy when I took them out too soon
As I made a rush to take the rubbish to the door
I upped a tray of sandwiches which landed on the floor
This didn'e make me popular as you can well assume
For a while there was an atmosphere in the silence of the room
But it seemed insignificant, in the view of future strife
When I cut through the laminex with the electric knife
Because of power failure there was quite a long delay
So we went up and got some drinks, and I upset mine on the way
And when at last the water boiled and someone made the tea
I got lumbered with a teapot that was half the size of me
By now I was frustrated, hot and cross and in disgrace
When a bowler stuck out his foot I fell flat on my face
That was really the climax and I suddenly saw red
I gripped that great big teapot, and hit him on the head
I didn't mean to kill him but it seems his skull was frail
And this is how I come to be composing this in jail
I was lucky in the verdict which was "Temporarily insane"
so take me off the roster please - till I come out again!
Response Number 3 :Posted by Saturday, October 09, 2004 at 04:55:24 (EDT):
Nice site, hope you don't mind but I copied one of your stories.